Sex Secrets of Happy Couples

They don't do it every day (really!). They believe in quickies (alright!). Read on for other reassuring truths about what a sexually healthy marriage looks like.
By Lisa Lombardi
Redbook, 12/ 11

This article is full of good advice including these nuggets from Barry McCarthy:
 2. They touch out of bed, too. They're not the scary PDA couple, feeling each other up in the frozen food aisle. But they are the sort to hug for no reason, swap foot rubs just because and even make foreplay the main course. "There are five degrees of touch, and couples in the best marriages regularly do at least four of them," says Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., marriage and sex therapist and author of Rekindling Desire. "Many couples have two modes of affection: nothing or intercourse, and when that's the case, 'nothing' usually wins out," he explains. Why? When a kiss or back rub always leads to nooky, spouses may end up avoiding contact unless they want sex. A better idea: Get hands-on when you're not hoping to get it on. "Your sex will become much more natural, because one kind of touch flows into another," says McCarthy. By physically connecting in small ways throughout the day, you stay warmed up for intense action later. And you'll still feel close on those inevitable nights when you're too stressed or tired (or both!) for the main event.
5. They don't expect Hollywood sex. We can all picture it: candles glowing, white 1,000-thread-count bedsheets billowing, lovely lovemaking culminating in simultaneous, earthshaking orgasms. The only thing is, that almost never happens, says McCarthy. And the duos who are most likely to succeed wisely know not to expect it. "When you're living together and have two kids, two jobs, etc., if you're having Hollywood sex once a month, you're doing great," he says. How great? According to McCarthy, among happily married couples, up to 15 percent of erotic encounters are not even enjoyable for one or both spouses. Maybe the sex is hurried, physically uncomfortable or doesn't lead to the final fireworks. Secure couples are able to roll with off-nights, rather than taking them as a sign that something's wrong with their relationship. And they don't postpone sex until all the planets are perfectly aligned, either. . . .

For all ten tips: http://tinyurl.com/d7eemdt